Awakening
by IS2writing
Summary: Post 9x24. What if April became a Vampire? It's my first fanfic so please be nice and please review. April/ Jackson
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

**AN: **This is my first fanfic ever so please be nice. It's probably terrible and English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes.  
The kind of vampires in the text are the ones in the vampire diaries.

I haven't been feeling well today.

When the bus exploded I was terrified and thought that Jackson was dead. I flipped out completely. I wanted to run to bus, to save him. But someone grabbed me from behind and I felt like ripping the head of the person that was keeping me from going to my loved one that was certainly going to die.

I tried to free myself and looked at the person who was holding me back, it was Matthew. That didn't give me second thoughts about what I wanted to do, and wanting to kill him for holding me back.

Then the bus exploded and I heard screams, I didn't realize at first that I was the one screaming. I only knew when I saw the look that Matthew was giving me and how everyone else was looking at me. But I didn't care, how could I?

In that moment I wanted to die, I wanted to surrender to the pain eating me alive. He was dead, which meant that me life was over.

I didn't expect to see him come out of the smoke, holding a child in his arms. I was in shock, he was alive! I wanted to scream and cry, hug him and kiss him, but I couldn't move. I tried, but it was like I was frozen in time, not moving from the moment of when I thought he was dead.

I was now standing in front of his bed, my arms felt useless and I didn't know what to say.

I kept opening and closing my mouth wanting to say something but no sound came out. I was searching for the appropriate words to say to him. I felt overwhelmed with emotions, everything was heightened, to intense.

"I want you, Jackson" I felt my lips say "I want you".

"April" he said softly looking at me. I was sobbing and it was hard to speak but somehow I managed to. "I haven't been fair to you, I know and I've, I've really hurt you."

"And you're getting married." He said looking at me.

"When that bus exploded and, I thought you were gone" The words got caught in my throat, remembering what had happen was too much. I felt the pain overwhelming me again and started gasping.

"You're getting married" He said looking at me. I stared back at him and said "Unless you can give a reason not to." I prayed to god for him to say anything, but he kept quiet, just looking at me. I was still in shock from the earlier events and I guess so was he.

He was speechless, he lost track of any thought when she said those words to him. 'Am I dreaming' he thought, but then he glanced at her eyes and saw she was waiting for answer, which he didn't have. He watched her, and tried to say something but he was frozen.

She took his silence as an answer and lowered her eyes to her feet. She wanted to run out to a dark and small place where no one would ever find her, curl up in a ball and die.

"No, April look at me" He said trying to calm her down.

I realized that I had started sobbing uncontrollably and tears were pouring down my eyes. I did as I was told, but I couldn't take it anymore. It was just too much, I had been feeling to emotional today. I felt hot and cold at the same time, I was shivering, sobbing and desperately trying to pull myself back together. I wrapped my arms around chest as an attempt to calm down. Nothing worked.

I tried to shut everything off and felt so close to doing it. But I felt something between me and the darkness, a wall. No matter how I tried to overcome it, I always failed. I could try to climb it, tear it down or dig a hole, the wall had no end that could be seen. It was unbreakable

I was thirsty, I had been all day. It was strange because it was not a normal thirst, I ached for something to drink, just couldn't figure out what. But, I haven't drunk all day, so it's probably because of that.

I didn't know anymore what I was doing standing there, I bet I looked stupid. I did feel miserable and lost. I prayed for mercy and forgiveness but something told me I wasn't getting any.

My knees were getting weaker and weaker and I felt like I was going to fall.

"April, calm down. Please." I finally turned my glare to his face and felt a little calmer. He was having a calmative effect on me and I felt like letting go of the pain that had been torturing me.

"Come here, sit" He said tapping the bed and looking at me with a concerned look in his eyes.

I walked over to his side, sat on the bed and rested my head, that was suddenly becoming heavy, in his shoulder

My tears started to subside and my sobs were less frequent.

To my surprise, I started to feel hunger, like I was starving, and clenched my fists trying to distract myself from my throat, that was suddenly becoming swollen, and the hunger.

I felt pain and started to feel dizzy. 'I wonder what's going on' I thought.

My eyelids became heavy and everything was spinning. I lost track of any thought and my vision became black.

felt myself wondering through a land of pain, regret and sorrow.

I was getting really worried about April, I was about to freak out when she stopped moving but then I realize she had felt asleep. She looked so beautiful.

Her hair was covering her face and I tucked a curl behind her ear. She was breathing heavily which meant she was in a deep sleep.

She looked so peaceful, He could feel his heart swell with love just by staring at her.

He couldn't believe he had her in his arms, he had wished for this to happen. The woman he loved was sleeping in his arms and had just told him she rather have him than the paramedic.

Let's face it. He knew the paramedic was a perfect match for her, did he like it? No. Did he do anything about it? No. Why? Because, as much as he hated the paramedic, he loved her and didn't want to see her suffer. He wanted her to be happy. And if that meant he was going to bee miserable, so be it.

But she had just turned everything upside down. She had stormed in and told him she wanted _him. _Not the perfect paramedic, _him._

He was still processing the information. She moved in his arms and he turned his attention back to her.

She was squeezing her eyes shut and had a pained expression on her face. He realized she was having a nightmare.

"April, wake up" He said softly shaking her shoulder. "April, it's just a dream"

"humm..." She mumbled, still half asleep. "What's going on? Jackson?"

"You were having a nightmare." He said looking with a worried look at her.´"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. It wasn't a nightmare" She said still sleepy. "I'm tired, I'm going to see if I find an on-call room. See you later" She said as she got up and left the room.

He watched her leave and sat up straight on the bed. 'She was acting strange' he thought.

He was still thinking about what she had said to him. 'Had she regret saying it? Was that why she run off?' he asked himself. He suddenly remembered Stephanie. What was he going to tell her? Maybe he wouldn't do anything just yet.

He had to make sure that April was speaking the truth before. She could be running back to paramedic right now. He wasn't going to throw away what he had with Stephanie if it was going to end badly.

April was never sure of what she wanted. Today she could just had been scared and hadn't meant what she said.

He loved her, but he didn't want to be the guy that waited forever, because she could never go back to him.

She stormed out of the room and tried to find a free on-call room. She found one and sat on bed.

She buried her face in her hands and desperately tried to put her thoughts in order. She was really shocked about her 'dream'.

It hadn't felt like a dream at all. It felt like... a memory. But it couldn't be a memory, not unless she was dead, which she wasn't. She was very much alive, from what she could tell. She would know if she was dead right?

The _dream_ had been very confusing. Everything was dark and she couldn't understand where she was.

She couldn't remember what had happened in the beginning of the day. It couldn't have happen what she thought it did.

In her_ dream_, she was walking to... the hospital! Yes, she was going to the hospital to help prepare for the storm. Then she couldn't remember anything, it was almost like she had blacked out. Then she was being dragged and she could only spot a shadow.

_She felt pain in her neck and it took her a minute to realize that something was biting her._

_She gasped and tried to scream, but something was covering her mouth. The next thing she knew something that tasted metallic was going down her throat. She chocked on the liquid and tried to breath. _

_She was trying to free herself from her attacker but it was useless. It was a waste of energy. _

_She felt her eyelids became heavy and everything was spinning. She realized she was dying. _

_'No!' she tried to scream but she couldn't command her muscles anymore. She was in shock._

_'This can't be **it**!' She thought 'I don't want to die'. If this was it, what was the point? What was the point of waking in the morning, work, and go back to sleep. What was the point in life if you got nowhere?_

_She had almost died when the shooter came to the hospital looking for Shepherd, Richard and Lexie. What was the point of surviving when you were going to die the next day?_

_Life keeps on going. Why? When bad things happened, like someone's death. People become sad, they mourn and question why it happened. Then, when time has passed, they get back up and start reliving._

_Why? What's the point? If everything is going to come crashing down the next day, what's the point?_

_She was angry and revolted._

_This couldn't be her death. It couldn't be how it ended. She realized in that moment what she had given away, all the mistakes that she had done. But one stood out. Jackson. He wasn't a mistake, of course not, but giving up on him was the ultimate mistake._

_She had given up the man that she had loved the most for what? She liked Matthew, but she didn't loved him as much as she loved Jackson. Not nearly as much._

_She realized she had given up on love, the one thing that she had lived for._

_The pain was overwhelming but the loss was unbearable. It was to much, she felt the person letting go of her and she collapsed on the ground. _

_She only felt pain now. Her brain was shutting down and she was drifting off. She knew it was now, she was going to die, she didn't even know what had happened. It had been too fast._

_She felt her head become heavier and started to wander. She was being sucked in into nothing, she couldn't fight it. It was stronger than her and she was exhausted._

_Then she was wandering in … emptiness._

She was trying to calm herself down, it couldn't have happened. She could smell death, but she was alive. She was alive... 'It isn't working' she thought. She was starting to panic. She got up and started to pace around the room.

'Breathe April, breathe' She commanded herself.

She started to calm down a little bit and allowed another thoughts in her mind. She wa really getting thirsty and dizzy.

She left the room and went to find a bathroom.

She crossed the hall full of doctors and patients and entered the bathroom.

No one was in there. She went over to the sink and rubbed water on her face. She tried drinking some but it felt disgusting and it only improved her thirst.

She didn't feel refreshed either. Her throat felt like it was burning, she couldn't handle this torture anymore.

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. 'What's happening?' she asked herself but didn't got any answer.

'I'm starting to panic again' she thought. 'Calm down, breathe..'

"April? Are you alright? What are you doing here?" She opened her eyes and looked at Alex.

"Yeah, I am." She said composing herself. "Wait, what do you mean 'what am I doing here'?" She looked at him with a confused look.

"This is the men's room" He said looking at her with a weird look.

"What?" She said widening her eyes in shock. She looked behind her and saw urinals. "Oh my god!" She felt herself blush "I'm so sorry" She said running out of the bathroom, leaving an amusing looking Karev.

' I can't believe I didn't notice where I was!' She thought to herself 'I must be really tired'.

I was standing in the hall when I heard someone call my name.

"Hey, April! Wait." I turned around and saw Alex. 'What does he want now?' She thought.

"Do you know were I can find some batteries?" He asked looking at her.

"No, but I'll look for them." She said.

She walked down the hall and tried to remember where they kept some batteries. She remembered a closet were they used to keep supplies. 'I'll go see if I can find some there.' she thought.

Now, there wasn't anyone with her in hallway as she made her way to the closet.

She entered the small room full of supplies and started looking. She didn't liked this room, it looked old and they were in the middle of a storm. She should make it quick.

She searched all the shelves but didn't find any batteries. ' I should go back' She thought.

She was making her way out of the room when she heard a loud noise. ' It's probably a lightning' She ensured herself.

The loud noise was repeated and suddenly everything was crashing down. All the supplies and a cabinet fell on top of her and the ceiling was too. The floor was full of debris and outside the closet it was all probably destroyed too.

She felt pain and tried to get out from under the cabinet, she crawled from under neath it and tried to stand on the debris.

She was going to be bruised, and she didn't understand how she got out from under the cabinet. It was like she had used super-strength.

She tried to open the door but it wouldn't.

She started to kick the door with all the strength she could manage to join. She wanted to get out of this place. Would they find her if she couldn't get out? What if she died? She was scared and just wanted to wake up in her bed and find out it was all a nightmare. But if it was a dream, it seemed she wasn't ready to wake up just yet.

The door gave in and smacked against a wall of debris. She was stuck in here. She walked out of the room as another lighting made the ceiling collapse even more.

The floor began to shake and pieces of wood were falling from the ceiling, she fell and tried to crawl to the wall of debris. A sharpened piece of wood stabbed her and she let out a scream.

It was a big stick that stabbed her in the back right next to the heart. She gasped and desperately tried to take it off.

Experience told her to leave it in but she wasn't exactly in the mood for thinking

She took of the stick and was finally able to breathe. Then she realized that she should be dead. A piece of wood probably just ruptured her lung. How was she breathing. To her surprise the wound started to heal, in seconds, not days. How was that even possible

Wood was still falling, and she tried to protect herself, but the wood was falling on top of her and stabbing her.

She felt pain, to much, and blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

I was sick of being in bed without helping anyone so I got up to go help with the patients.

I wanted to go check on that little girl I saved from the exploding bus and find April, if possible. I was worried that she might be scared and crying right now. Not that I thought she was weak, she was the opposite, but she really was in bad shape when she left.

She had stormed out of here earlier, after she told me she wanted me and now I can't find her. Seriously, I have looked everywhere. Either she doesn't want to be found, or she's in trouble.

"Hey, Karev, have you seen April?" I asked trying to think of places left to search for her.

"I asked her if there were any batteries left and she said she was going to look for some, that's the last time I talked to her." He answered looking at me with an annoyed face.

Kepner was the last thing Karev wanted to talk about, he had more important stuff to worry about.

"Dc. Karev, come here please, it's urgent" a nurse called out making Karev leave.

Jackson was getting tired and he wasn't needed, so he decided to go back to bed. Maybe he was just being paranoid about April. Maybe she went running off to the paramedic and had gotten out of here. That didn't sound like April, but she was nowhere to be found.

Maybe I should just relax and stop worrying. I was going back to my room when I bumped into Callie.

"**What** are you doing here?" She asked, making an angry face and emphasizing the 'what'.

"I was just..." I tried to say but was cut off by the Latina women.

"I don't care what you were doing. You're going to get your ass back in that bed before I drag you all the way to it. There has been enough heroism for today. You can be a hero tomorrow for all that I care. But you're done for today".

I couldn't stop noticing the red marks she had under her eyes, she must have been crying, she looked miserable.

Not feeling in the mode for another tear attack, especially from Callie (whom he had never seen like this), I decided not to touch the subject and do as she had asked.

I got back to my bed and tried to forget about the day. It was all a mess, everything. I just wanted to close my eyes and drift off.

I tried to sleep, but it was no use. It was hard to sleep with everyone in such a bustle. A lot of patients were coming in per minute and there weren't enough doctors to hand them all.

Why didn't them just let me help? It's not like I'm that much hurt. I just had a broken arm and nothing to do but stare at the wall and think about April

'This is going to be a hell of a night' I thought with irony.

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I waked up in pain. Everything was a blur and I had the worst headache I had ever experienced. There were a lot of sharpened sticks stabbing my body and I started to take them out.

The rational part of my brain was telling me to stop and that what I was doing only made it worst. But I wasn't listening to that part. I was listening to a more wild and natural part of my mind. It was like natural instinct.

I felt my throat swell with thirst, with an uncontrollably desire to sink my teeth into something warm and luscious. It felt like my brain had shut off and I was complying to the natural needs of the body.

I was now something wild and reckless, a not caring being.

I heard noise and my hunter instincts came to the surface. I prepared to attack and made no noise. I'm sure I would feel disgusted about this later, but now? I seriously didn't care.

"Is somebody here?" Someone called out.

I moved just enough to make an audible sounds to his/hers ears. I wanted the person to think somebody was there so I could jump her/him from behind.

I moved once again, but this time making no sound, to hide under a bit of debris behind the opening that would allow the person to enter. I moved silently and graciously just like a real hunter.

Now I couldn't handle the thirst, it felt like every vein in my body was going to blow up. It felt like a tick tock bomb, waiting a little bit more could compromise the whole situation.

I heard movement and saw a shadow appear in my sight camp, I wasted no more time. I jumped on the nurse growling and so quick he never knew what hit him. It was over as fast as it begun. I drunk fervently from his neck and when I was done I let him drop to the ground.

Then I realized he was dead. I had just **killed **_someone_! The horror and dread took over me as I fell on my knees next to the nurse I had just _**killed**_. I drank his blood and it felt good.

What was I? This couldn't be real. None of this could. I got up and started to walk back in shock and horror.

I got throw the door and ran like hell. I was shocked again. I had never ran like this before. In fact, I'm sure no one had. I was going faster than cars and I could still see things clearly. I felt upgraded.

I was running on super speed when I got in the bathroom, this time making sure it was the girl's bathroom.

What I saw in the mirror almost made me faint. In fact, the only reason I why I think I didn't faint was because I was not human anymore. Or so I thought.

What I saw in the mirror was a beast. Its hair was unkempt and stained with blood. It had its clothes covered in blood to.

I got scared so I growled and stepped back instantly. The animal in the mirror retracted and moved back. Its eyes got red like blood and the veins around them stood out, not to mention the teeth that got more sharpened and deadly than the teeth of a snake.

That couldn't be me. There was no way! I started to pant and ran to sink.

I poured water down my face and rubbed it as hard as I could to extract the scent of blood and its smell.

I tried to wash the blood stains from my scrubs too, I could say I had gotten outside and got wet because of the rain. It was a plausible excuse.

I proceeded to my hair and tried to wash away the blood.

The color could be disguised because my hair was red but the scent had to come off. Bad news: the smell was already matted in my hair, it would only come out when I took a shower.

Oh well, I had to be careful not to let anybody smell my hair. It wouldn't be that hard, no one was wandering around waiting to smell my hair, and besides, I was in a hospital so it was normal if I smelled like blood.

I was more human like now. Most of the blood had come out but now I was all wet, dripping water.

I stepped out of the bathroom and started to make my way towards the bustle.

"April! Where have you been? Have you found some batteries? And why are you all wet?" I was confronted by a hurried Alex Karev.

"No I haven't. I went outside" I said trying to sound true but it probably didn't work. I always got too nervous and shaky and I was lying.

"Why would you have gone outside?" He asked with a confused look. Maybe my acting skills were getting better!

"Err... I was looking for... Matt". Maybe not so much

"Okay. Jackson was looking for you" He said prolonging the 'okay' with a suspicious look in his face.

I walked past him and went to find dry scrubs. I would think about Jackson later

I got inside the locker room, changed my scrubs and tied my hair.

I tried to shut out the memories of the latest events. What would I do when someone found the body? Maybe they would think he died crushed under the debris, but, in order for him to be buried by the rubbish, there had to be another landslide.

Then I remembered Jackson, what was I going to do? How was I going to face him? What if he didn't want me?

The doubts began to increase and I decided to think about something else for my own good, but now that I had remembered him, I couldn't get him out of my mind.

I had been away for some time now, hadn't I? I didn't know how many for sure, I was under the impression that I had blacked out for awhile, what if something had happened when I was out?

I decided to go see in what I could help with the patients. The hospital was almost overcrowded, they would need another pair of hands to help.

I just had to be careful not to attack someone, she wouldn't, right? It was strange, I wanted blood. To _**drink**_. What if I couldn't be beside the patients without resisting? They were hurt and I didn't want to kill anybody else.

I didn't even who I am anymore. A monster? Persons don't drink blood, I mean, they can, but it doesn't taste good. It tastes like something metallic.

Why was the only thing I could do when thinking about blood now was feeling an uncontrollable desire and thirst? I didn't even remember how it tasted when it tasted bad. It was wrong, but it felt right now.

Thinking about blood made my throat swell and look like it was going to close, my veins burn and my body shake in eagerness.

I'm pretty sure that now my face was like the one on the animal I saw previously when in the bathroom trying to wash the blood away.

I was leaned against the wall trying to calm myself down when I remembered the dream I had had. What if it was a memory? I remember being in the ground, bleeding out, and then I blacked out.

The next thing I remembered was waking up on the ground with no memory of how I had gotten there. I had gotten up and went to the hospital. What if had really happened? What if I had died? Then how was I breathing and walking?

Maybe I should just forget the drama and work. I took a deep breath and left the locker room.

I walked past the hall and went into the entrance of the hospital to help with the patients. Not a good idea. I smelled blood immediately and as a natural instinct I got in the attack position.

I got lucid enough to make a run for it. I got inside an on-call room and locked myself inside. I had to spend the rest of the night there.

I started to pace in circles and taking deep breathes to soothe the beast.

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I woke up in a bed that I didn't recognized at first. I looked around me and remembered that I was in an on-call room that I had gotten in last night.

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I had wakened up earlier than usual. There was still no light coming from outside but within some hours the first lights of dawn were going to appear, I thought.

I unlocked the door and stepped outside.

I'm sure I had gotten myself in a lot of trouble. I had locked myself in here yesterday and I didn't come out. Everybody must be pissed at me right now.

"Hey! Where have you been?" Matt approached me with a smile and kissed me.

"Sorry. I wasn't feeling well yesterday so I got into an on-call room and fell asleep." I said, it was half true so... "Has the storm calmed down?"

"Yeah, but I'm still going to stick around, I have to do something" He said

"Okay. I'm going to head home" I said, I desperately needed to get out of this place

"Right now?" He asked with a confused look.

"Yeah. I'm still a little sick" I said.

I moved past him and out of the door. I hope nobody saw me, I should ask the chief for some time off.

I got in the car and drove home, right now I just needed to get in my bed, bury my head on the pillow and sleep. I wanted to forget about yesterday.

I arrived home and straight to my bedroom, I didn't even take my clothes off.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tries not to think, I just wanted to forget. I didn't want to think about Jackson nor me.

I kept visualizing the creature I saw in the mirror yesterday. It wouldn't leave my head. It was looking ferociously at me and ready to attack. It's eyes were blood red and its fangs were showing. It wanted to attack.

I remembered the nurse I had killed. It felt _good. _How could it have? I _**killed**_ someone. Not in the way that happens normally in the hospital when you mess up. I actually killed him. I was thirsty and I drank his blood.

The smell of blood and it's scent were overpowering. The strength and the rush it gave me were overwhelming.

I felt alive and wild.

I had to stop, I had to stop thinking about it. It wouldn't do me any good now. It would only disgust me and scare me.

I really had to sleep, or black out, or stop thinking. It really didn't matter which one happened.

I finally felt my eyelids became heavier and blackness taking over me.

I guess I was falling asleep, even if it was to painful. I still could think, but I could only think about one thing. The rest were wiped away from my memory, maybe they weren't important. I don't know.

I only know that they only thing I could focus on, was Jackson.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Grey's Anatomy nor Vampire Diaries.

**AN: **Sorry I took so long to update. I hope you enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

I woke up and slowly, I opened my eyes. I was in my bed, in my house and in that moment everything was completely normal and perfect. Everything was as it was supposed to be until it all came crashing down, until I remembered what happened in the last 24 hours.

I sat up with a jump as I clung to the sheets in my hands and tried to steady my breath. I was panting, that had a surprisingly big frequency in this last couple of days. I had dreamed about the beast. My dreams were kind of a blur, but I knew.

The image of the beast hadn't left my mind, nor had the expression of terror on the nurse's cold dead face. The way he had struggled in my arms to try escape from the claws of death. I had drained him of his blood. And it had felt _good, _though I knew it was wrong and horrifying and a crime against nature and the laws of men and God, because God had said _"Thou shalt not kill". _I had learned it as a kid, the ten commandments.

Now I am a monster in God's eyes. What the hell was wrong with me?

I got out of bed saying my prayers though I knew Jesus wouldn't forgive me. Not this time. I only realized I was crying when I looked down at the sheets and saw little stains of water.

I went over to the blinds with the intent to open them. When I did, the sun immediately lit the room covering every square centimeter of the room and eliminating the shadows, chasing them into the remote corners of the room.

But instead of feeling the relief and the joy of a new day, that the sun usually gave me, I felt myself as being burned, like when you get a candle close to a paper, but only close enough to see a curtain of smoke coming out of the edges of the paper. It felt like that in every inch of her body. And I knew that if I didn't get out of where I was, I would eventually burst up in flames.

I ran out of the room in inhuman speed and fled to the bathroom. I crouched in a minimum space between the bathtub and the sink. I was scared and confused, I didn't understand what was happening.

This was my punishment? Being burned by the sun? I stretched my hand enough to have sunlight illuminating it and saw in awe as smoke began to come out of my skin as it began to look dark and red with raw flesh. The smell of burning began to fill the air and I removed my hand from the light and watched it heal.

I was scared as hell now. I could never be in the sunlight again? How was I supposed to go to work? I could call in sick, but I couldn't do that for the rest of my life in any day that it wasn't cloudy and raining also because you're supposed to get sick in those days, not the sunny and hot one's.

I decided to make a run for the living room. When I got there I just let myself fall in the couch as I buried my head in my hands and thought about how it all had gotten this bad. How will I be able to make it better? Everything is such a mess.

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I was reading charts since I couldn't do pretty much anything with a broken arm. And thinking about April.

She had acted really strange yesterday. I could tell something was wrong. I hadn't decided what to about her outburst. I had never expected her to say that she wanted me. She was getting married! She had said yes to Matthew in front of a crowd, I knew that she wouldn't say no in front of that bunch of people, she didn't have the courage to break his heart, public or no public. And I knew she was happy with him, though it hurt seeing her with someone else.

I looked up and saw Matthew walking down the hall.

"Hey! Matthew, how's April?" I asked the paramedic.

He turned to look at me.

"She felt a little sick and went home. But she's ok" He said and walked away.

Had she really felt sick or did she went home just to avoid me? I didn't exactly know what to say to her. Apparently she had spoken to Matthew but had said absolutely nothing about the earlier events.

That could mean that she had regretted saying that she wanted me, probably. She had a history on blaming things on me, though she apologized, it still hurt. I had regretted breaking up with her when we found out she wasn't pregnant, but it had really hurt me to see the joy she had about not needing to be me.

I had wanted to give her the wedding of her dreams with the butterflies and the mints, and she had been so happy when I said it. But then...

I realized I was standing in the hall with my eyes wondering and went to find a place where I could finish my work.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA GAGA

I went to window and looked through the blinds, it was getting cloudy. That's got to be good right?

I was getting thirsty again. I would not kill another person again, I can't. I'm one step away from a mental breakdown. And I feel like I can shut it off, just stop feeling. Not like before.

Before I had felt a wall keeping me from doing that, but now, I felt like I could do it if I wanted. And that scares me. Not being able to feel, that is no way to live.

I tried opening the blinds and this time I wasn't burned. The clouds were covering the sun, so there wasn't much light. I could feel a little tingling through out my body, but it was bearable, not like before.

I decided to go out for a walk, to clear my mind on what to do. I hadn't been feeling a lot tired so I could run back home.

I walked through out town until I reached a place that looked like it was rotting. I had never been to this part of town. There were drunks staggering down the street and lying on the floor like it was the only place they could reach. There was garbage on the street and a lot of suspicious bars

"Excuse me, miss?" I turned back and by instinct, growled. A gipsy with rotted teeth and a crooked smile was watching me. My nose told me that it had been a long a time since she had taken a bath and that by itself immediately slew my desire to bury my teeth in her veins and suck.

"No need to get hectic, miss." She said keeping her crooked smile. "I can sense, you have a good heart. How about we make a deal?

"What kind of deal?" I asked with confusion.

"I can give you something you want and in return, you'll give me something I want." She said widening her smile.

"I don't want anything. Not something you can give me anyway" I said and started to walk away but she moved positioning herself in front of me blocking my passage.

"So you wouldn't like to walk in the sun without getting burn? Hum, that's all you vampires usually want, and of course to feed. But I can assure you that you will not feed on me" She said.

I froze and looked at her. She was still smiling and her words were echoing in my mind. Did she really say..._vampire..._? I couldn't be one, right? _Vampires_ don't exist. But how could she know I couldn't walk in the sun without getting burned? I was still frozen with an expression of disbelief in my face. "What do you want?" I said. I didn't sound like myself, I sounded … _animalistic_.

"Haaa! I knew you wouldn't back down on such a good proposal. You're smart miss." She said winking.

"What-Do-You-Want?" I said pronouncing every word clearly.

"Relax. Give a ring, or a bracelet."I gave her a face that said _never going to happen_ "Common, if I wanted to rob you I wouldn't be doing this, now give me, I'll give it back"

I looked at my hands, I had my wedding ring and one bracelet that my mother had given me. It was a colored small braid with beads and pendants made of silver . I took it off and placed it on the open hand of the gipsy. I was watching her carefully ready to jump her at the smallest move.

She ignored my hesitation and took a small stone out of her pocket, it looked like Lapis Lazuli. She putted it in the bracelet andwith the hand still open she started to chant in another language.

I watched in awe as the bracelet lifted of her palm and stayed floating in the air like it was nothing but a feather. The second she stopped chanting the bracelet fell in her hand and she stretched her hand for me take the bracelet.

I took it and putted it back on.

"You can now go out with sun and don't get burned. Now my part of the deal." She said with a mischievous look.

This was the part I feared. For her to give something this good, I mean, I didn't know if it worked yet, but the bracelet floated, bracelets don't float.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"First, your blood." She said while she took a small jar of her pocket.

"What? No way!" I said looking at her like she was crazy, well, she kind of was.

"I did my part of the deal, now you have to do yours. Or else... I go after the ones you love. After I'm done with you that is." She said.

Suddenly I felt a pang in my head and my hands flew to my head as a primal instinct. I was moaning in pain and as it grew bigger I started to scream. _She was causing this_, the thought came out of the blue and I heard my voice telling her to stop.

As soon as I told her, the pain stopped. I inhaled rapidly as if to get the bigger amount of oxygen possible. When my breath calmed I looked at her smiling face and a shiver of fear ran through my body. She was definitely crazy.

She grabbed my arm as she took a small dagger out of her pocket and cut my arm. I moaned and jumped when the blade cut through my skin.

She put the small jar under the cut and collected some blood. When the wound healed and the blood stopped pouring she covered the jar and looked at me.

"The second thing. I need a heart." The gipsy said.

I felt my eyes widening. A _heart? _Metaphorically or literally?

"A human heart. I take it you work at a hospital. Right?" She asked once again with the mischievous look and the crooked smile.

How did she know where I worked? This place was giving me the creeps, I have to get out of here.

One of the drunks yelled something imperceptible and rolled back on his side.

"I'll give you two days to get the heart. So in two days meet me here in this exact place or I will go after you and the ones you love. Got it" She said

"Y-yes." I said trembling.

"Good. Goodbye miss" She said winking and retrieving into a dark alley. Somewhere far away a cat yawned annoyed.

I started to walk home and sped up my pace to get out of this place.

As I walked, the streets began to look more clean and the houses habitable. I was memorizing the path so I could return in two days. I wasn't so sure I was returning, the gipsy really scared me. But I think she wasn't lying about the fact of hurting me or my friends.

What use would she have of my blood? And back to what she had said, was I really a vampire? It actually was the only thing that made sense, as messed up as that can be. I drank blood and had sharp canines whenever I got thirsty. I also had super-speed and probably super-strength.

How was I going to find a human heart? She hadn't said it had to be alive so I could just take one from the morgue. Yes, I'll go to hospital tomorrow and find a heart. It couldn't be that hard.

I reached my house and went to the bathroom to take a shower. It should clear my mind, it usually did. It was like therapy.

I thought about Jackson again. What was I going to do about him? I loved him, I did. I had said I wanted him because I don't know what that could have cause in him and in me. I think I wasn't ready to admit it.

I wasn't in love with Matthew. I didn't love him at all, not like I loved Jackson. I cared for him, and I didn't want to break his heart, but I didn't love him. I should and I really tried, he was perfect for me and he loved me. He wanted the same things out of life that I wanted and he adored me. He said I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. I wanted to love him. And I hoped that if I stayed with him I would eventually do. But I couldn't. And when that bus exploded, the most painful and long moment of my life, I had felt like it was all over. Everything, my life, the world.

I had to break up with Matthew, I couldn't stay with him when my heart already belonged to someone else, even if the person it belonged to didn't want it.

So I sat on the couch, turned on the TV and watched Oprah, waiting for my fiance to get home so I could tell him it was over.

About two hours later the door open and a joyous Matthew walked in.

"Hi honey!" He said.

I got up and went to stand in front of him. I smiled at him and he gave a peck in the lips.

"Are you better? Jackson asked for you" He said.

"He did? What did he say?"

"He just wanted to know where you were and I told him you got a bit sick and went home" He said smiling warmly.

"Listen, Matthew. I care about you, I do, but I don't love you and I don't know if I ever will and I don't want to hurt you, I seriously don't but Jackson... He's my best friend, and I think I love him.

I wanted to get over him, cause we broke up, and you showed up, and you were perfect. You're perfect for me, you're a perfect guy. Sweet, caring and you love me. And I can't love you back and it's eating me on the inside, because I'm not being fair at all and I wish I wanted you. But yesterday when that bus exploded...I thought everything was over. My whole reason of living, and if I feel like that, over someone other than you, I'm not being fair to you nor to me. I am so, so sorry. I really hope you forgive me one day..." I said with tears in my eyes looking at his face that had turned from cheerful to painful in a matter of seconds. He also had tears in his eyes and he was looking at me in despair.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw and tried to hold back the tears. My tears were running freely through my face like a waterfall.

When he spoke he did it with a raspy voice. "I see you've made up your mind. I'm sorry for what id did wrong. I'll go get my things."

"I am so sorry Matthew" I said sounding like I was begging while he went to get his stuff.

He took his clothes from the closet and stuffed them in a bag as I followed him muttering the same words over and over again.

When he was done packing, he gave me a cold look and left the house.

I laid on the couch and wrapped myself in a ball looking for comfort. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to forget everything on my mind, pretend like nothing existed. Like I was in an infinite universe all by myself. The guilt and sorrow didn't go away though. I felt like trash, like the only thing I was good for was inflicting pain in people.

Some minutes later I started to feel tired and fell asleep in the couch curled up in a ball.


End file.
